12/13/2016 – Putin Puppet

TRUMP: Uggghhhh


TRUMP: So sick of the “Putin puppet” comments.

PENCE: Understood sir.

TRUMP: Not true. Couldn’t live with myself if I did. No man should be a puppet of a sociopath.

PENCE: I couldn’t agree more sir.

TRUMP: How can you look in the mirror every morning and say “I work for an egotistical megalomaniac?”

PENCE: I literally have no idea sir.

TRUMP: No soul. Would just kill myself if I had to take orders from someone like that.




TRUMP: What?

PENCE: Oh. Right. The Red Phone sir.

TRUMP: Speak.

PUTIN: Hyello.

TRUMP: ‘sup Vlad?

PUTIN: Sekretariat of your Styate. Yoo weel peek Rex. Ees good choice.

TRUMP: Done. Up for League of Legends tonight?

PUTIN: Bee there or bee Red Square. Vlad out.

TRUMP: Anyway, no puppet no peace. Awful, not having backbone. Would slowly rot inside dealing with someone like that.

PENCE: I have to go sir. It’s time for my medication.

TRUMP: Meds? What meds?

PENCE: All of them.

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