12/15/2016 – Nerdy McNerdface

PENCE: Sir, Bill Gates is here for your tech conference.

GATES: Hello Donald, a pleasure to-

TRUMP: Finally. You. Nerdy McNerdface. Need your help. Pronto.

GATES: Oh. Ok, sure, Donald, how can I-

TRUMP: My computer. Doesn’t work or do the things. Like Obamacare but less buggy. Need an egghead to fix.

GATES: Well…ok…normally I don’t do this sort of thing but let me see OH MY GOD!

TRUMP: What?

GATES: You’re using a Commodore 64?

TRUMP: Sure. Runs my empire. Classy. Big. Clunky. Like my buildings but with a space bar.

GATES: This is nearly 40 years old! How do you-

TRUMP: What? I hit the keys, it makes the beeps. You fix, I Presidentize.

PENCE: That’s not a verb sir.

GATES: This is missing half the keys and it’s filled with some strange orange goo! I can’t fix this!

TRUMP: Uggghhh!! What good are you? Go back to your Microsoft. Bad company. Loser name. Guaranteed to fail. Should name it Megalarge. Big name. Big success.

GATES: I’m…worth about 50 of you.

TRUMP: Pheh. Pence. Schedule Steve Jobs for noon.

PENCE: He’s dead sir.

TRUMP: 12:30 then.

PENCE: …sure.

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