1/18/2017 – BLUMP


TRUMP: What now? Found a brown hair in your sea of white?

PENCE: I…like my hair.

TRUMP: Please. It looks like the battlefield on Hoth. Note to self: buy AT-ATs. So. You. Speak.

PENCE: Attendance is really low for this Friday! Lots of empty seats! It won’t look good!

TRUMP: Friday.





PENCE: Inauguration? You? President?

TRUMP: Sure. So?

PENCE: Nobody’s coming!

TRUMP: Not good. We need ideas.

PENCE: I’ve already developed a couple of options that-

TRUMP: Get me Blump.

PENCE: …Blump?

TRUMP: Don King. Black Trump. Blump. Man is nuttier than a jock strap but knows how to put butts in seats. Don?

KING: Don King is already here!

PENCE: How did he-

TRUMP: So. Blump. Trump needs butts in seats for the inauguration Friday. Tickets aren’t moving. What to do?

KING: Don King says cut the number of seats, provide VIP access to the fewer chairs, hire George Lucas to do special effects and add more people on TV! Boom! Instant crowd!

PENCE: That…is so… stu

TRUMP: Brilliant!

PENCE: …uupidly brilliant.

TRUMP: Good job Blump.

KING: The Don is gone!

TRUMP: You. Hoth hair. You know Lucas. Get him on the phone.

PENCE: I think I’m getting an ulcer.

TRUMP: And no Ewoks. I’m building a wall around Endor.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s