1/23/2017 – Abhorrent

TRUMP: Hoth hair, get in here!

PENCE: Sir?

TRUMP: Alternative facts? Really? What kind of press secretary says that?

PENCE: Yes sir, it’s abhorrent.

TRUMP:

PENCE:

TRUMP:

PENCE: It means really bad.

TRUMP: I knew that. Get Spicer in here.

PENCE: Here he is, sir.

TRUMP: Spicer! What the hell?

SPICER: “Spicer! What the hell?”

TRUMP: Wait, what’s going on here?

SPICER: “Wait, what’s going on here?”

PENCE: Sorry sir he’s in Speaker mode, just give me one second…there.

PENCE: DEAR GOD HELP ME SOMEONE FREE ME FROM THIS HELL I CAN’T

PENCE: Sorry, sir, I accessed his personality. He’s in Sycophant mode now.

SPICER: Good morning Mr. President! How may I be of service?

TRUMP: Alternative facts? What the hell?

SPICER: Alternative facts are great! They’re like facts, but slightly different!

TRUMP: No. Can’t do this. Unbigly. The people deserve better than this.

PENCE: Finally! Sir, I’m so happy to hear the press and the truth can-

TRUMP: We’re going to lie.

SPENCER: Can do!

PENCE:

TRUMP: But they’re not lies. Because they’re coming from me. So it’s totally cool.

SPENCER: The coolest!

PENCE:

TRUMP: So. You. Spicer. Keep doing whatever it is you do. But not what you do. No lies. Give them AlterniTrumps. Like lies, but classy.

SPICER: Can do!

TRUMP: You can go.

PENCE: Sir, I…don’t know about this.

TRUMP: You might be right.

PENCE: Oh good.

TRUMP: Should have gone with SubstiTrumps.

PENCE: Oh…not good.

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