PENCE: What did you think of the Superbowl, sir?
TRUMP: Listen to you with the sportsball. That game makes no sense.
PENCE: How does it make no-
TRUMP: Two teams fighting over the same thing using nothing but their skills. Ridiculous. Un-American!
PENCE: You just described the fundamental tenets of capitalism. How is-
TRUMP: Please. Which team is richer? That team gets the ball and keeps it, then promises to share the ball if they work harder. Meanwhile the richer team with the ball takes the other team’s shoes for being lazy and then tells them to run faster. America! Sensible!
PENCE: It…might not be a good idea to share this with the public sir. Bernie Sanders would-
TRUMP: Sanders would give everybody their own ball and send them home playing pattycake. Boring!
TRUMP: Lady Gaga. Solid 8. Would bang. Needs to shorten name. Two Ga’s. Waste of letters. Lady Ga, more efficient. Will fix!