2/7/2017 – Like Me But Totally Different

PENCE: Sir, we have a little problem. You’re not going to like it.

TRUMP: Uggghh, what are they marching for now?

PENCE: No, it’s not that sir, it’s…worse. You might want to sit down for this one.

TRUMP: Terrorist attack. Whatevs. Proves I was right. Reinstitute the ban that’s not a ban but is totally a ban.

PENCE: No, it’s-

TRUMP: SNL made fun of me again. Can cope. Alec Baldwin, not funny. No Steven. Most Bigly of Baldwins. Can act.

PENCE: Actually sir, it’s…um…Kanye West. He’s-

TRUMP: Kanye. Genius. Love everything he does. Like me but totally different. Kim. Solid 8. Would bang. Got a butt like a Trump golf course. Stately. HUUGE. Can walk on it and hit golf balls off of it. Classy. The Best.

PENCE: He said he doesn’t like you anymore.

TRUMP: Kanye. Clueless person. Hate everything he does. Not like me at all. Kim. Got a huge disgusting butt. Would let her face in but her butt would be deported. Bloated and useless like Obamacare.

PENCE: He actually went on Twitter and-

TRUMP: Changed his mind. Good. Shows he can learn from his mistakes. Smart guy. Always knew he was a thinker. Brilliant like his music.

PENCE: …deleted all his tweets defending you.

TRUMP: Kanye. Brain dead. Does the same thing over and over again. Idiot. Awful like his music. I…wait. Back up a bit.

PENCE: Which part?

TRUMP: Tweets. You can delete them?

PENCE: Yes sir. Anytime you want.







TRUMP: Never mind. I’m a billionaire so I’m always right.

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