2/13/2017 – 1.7 Meryl Streeps

PENCE: Sir, did you watch the Grammys?

TRUMP: No. Not happening. No Springsteen cover bands so not interested. If I want to listen to people complain about me I’ll turn on any channel anywhere at anytime.

PENCE: No, it’s good news! You’re down to just 4 hate speeches per awards show.

TRUMP: That’s 1.7 Meryl Streeps. Good ratio. Can respect.

PENCE: And then there was The Trump Dress!

TRUMP: Ivanka. Problems solved. I knew Vonks could pull through. Attire: classy. Who wore her dress?

PENCE: No, I’m talking about, um, your dress. Sir. Worn by a Ms. Joy Villa. She wore a Pro-Trump dress that said “Make America Great Again.”

TRUMP: Joy Villa. Can appreciate. Great artist. No idea who she is but very talented. Respect! One question.

PENCE: Of course, sir!

TRUMP: Is she hot?


TRUMP: Need to know. For research.

PENCE: She’s a…model. She…looked lovely in her dress. Um, your dress. 

TRUMP: Boom. Photo op. Set it up.

PENCE: There are a couple of yellow flags.

TRUMP: I need stars. Can’t be too bad.

PENCE: She’s a Scientologist.


PENCE: And a vegan.

TRUMP: Uggghhhhh.

PENCE: She’s a multiracial feminist.

TRUMP: …I didn’t know they were allowed to like me. Can work with that. 

PENCE: She appeared in something called “Hobgoblins 2”

TRUMP: Direct to DVD sequel. Written and directed by Rick Sloane in 1988. Takes place after the original film.

PENCE: I…really wish your foreign policy acumen was on par with your teen 80s horror movie knowledge.

TRUMP: Let’s get Villa in for a meet and greet. Possible cabinet position. Definite photo op. Use Matt Berger.

PENCE: Who is-

TRUMP: Cinematographer. Hobgoblins 2.

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