TRUMP: Ok Pencey, what are we doing today?

PENCE: This morning you’re scheduled to attend the African American Museum of History

TRUMP: Good. Black people. Great folks. Great. Love them. Especially the good ones.

PENCE: I don’t know how you make that sound all-inclusive and racist at the same time, but sure.

TRUMP: It’s a skill. Ok. Optics. Can’t be all white people. People will judge us based on skin color. Not good.

PENCE: I’m sure the folks at the museum would understand.

TRUMP: No. You. Can’t go. So white you’re reflective. Need melanin onstage. Get Ben Carson up there with me. Man is so bland he’s living background anyway.

CARSON: I’m already here, Donald.

TRUMP: Gah! Stop that! Like the Bermuda triangle. Just sucks in attention and he disappears.

CARSON: I’m not that bland, Donald.

TRUMP: Yow! Amazing! Make Pence look like a Mexican circus. Exciting. Fiesta. Have to go there to see it. Can’t let them in. You: Dull. Background. A personality ninja.

CARSON:

TRUMP:

CARSON:

TRUMP:

CARSON: Still here, Donald.

TRUMP: Wow! Stop it! Like a boring X-man!