2/22/2017 – Trumpconomy

TRUMP: Why is my phone ringing? What’s going on? You. Phone. Speak!

SWEDEN: Help! The meatballs are attacking!

TRUMP: Not good. Blame ISIS. Bad weapons. Low energy! 

JAPAN: President Trump! Help! Godzilla is stomping around Tokyo!

TRUMP: Ungood! Godzilla! No respect for high rise towers. Real estate. Foundation of Trumpconomy. Profits!

ITALY: Signor Trump! Help! There are to many Goombas! Mario and Luigi can’t beat them by themselves! Itsa no good!

TRUMP: Italy! Need to help the boot country! Promise to sell Ivanka’s shoes, then we’ll intervene. Dealmaking!

CHINA: Premier Trump! We will not ask for help, but we could use your assistance helping to rebuild our Great Wall. 

TRUMP: Uggghh. More like Ungreat Wall! Couldn’t keep out Mongolians. Trump wall will keep out all Mexicans. Except the hot ones. Can admit! 

GREECE: King Trump, help! The Persians are attacking!

TRUMP: Please. Send 300 Navy Seals to Thermopylae. Defense!

BANNON: Damn. He’s good at this. 

PENCE: Do you think he knows we’re on the other line?

BANNON: I’m just shocked he thinks the entire world is all on the same phone trying to call him. 

PENCE: I’m not. 

BANNON: Good point. Do another one. 

AUSTRALIA: Help! Crocodile Dundee is in a coma!

TRUMP: Give him a vegemite sandwich IV and call me in the morning. Nutrients!


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