TRUMP: Ok Vonks we’re all here. What’s up?
IVANKA: Dad, witches from around the world are planning to cast a spell of binding today. We can’t let that happen!
TRUMP: Witches. Good people. Slightly nuts, but appreciate. Need to work on broom technology. Lazy!
IVANKA: According to Chapter 4 of the Malleus Maleficarum, to counter a world binding spell we need to draw a barrier circle on the ground.
TRUMP: That explains the rug stains. I thought Eric found the crayons.
IVANKA: Ok, now standing around the circle we need a troll…
BANNON: On it.
IVANKA: …a demonspawn…
CONWAY: HOW DID YOU that is I’ll stand in I guess.
IVANKA: …a silver owl…
TRUMP: Mitch. You. Over there.
MCCONNELL: WHO said I look like an owl? WHO?
IVANKA: …a winter hare…
TRUMP: Pence. On that side. Winter hair. Close enough.
IVANKA: …and an ice queen…
TRUMP: We’re one short. Hillary will never do this. Not good. Not enough time to call Coulter.
IVANKA: Oh no it’s too late! I feel the aether parting! It’s cast!
IVANKA: …and…nothing happened?
TRUMP: Not surprised. Had so many witch hunts against me at this point I have an immune system to magic. Doesn’t work on me anymore. Antibodies!
IVANKA: Dad, that’s kind of impossible.
TRUMP: C’mon Vonks. Bannon do the card thing.
BANNON: Ok, Mr. President, pick a card any card.
TRUMP: They’re all Ace of Spades.
BANNON: Damn it!
TRUMP: Spades. Dumbest suit in the deck. Clubs. Good suit. Especially if combined with Diamonds. Classy!
ERIC: Dad, have you seen my crayons?