2/28/2017 – Good Offshore Accounts

PENCE: Sir, you might want to have a word with Ms. Conway. 

TRUMP: I have many words with her. Especially on full moons. She insists on drinking something called Blood of the Innocent. Can’t keep up with those weird girl cocktails. Trends!

PENCE: Wha-no. Not…that sir. This picture of you with the leaders of historically black colleges in the oval office. They’re all standing next to you and she’s on the couch. Kneeling!

TRUMP: Let me see this.

PENCE: Right there. With her feet on the cushions and everything. Staring at her phone. This is an embarrassment sir! Borderline racist!

TRUMP: That’s a disgrace.

PENCE: Absolutely sir!

TRUMP: Undignified. Rude. No respect!

PENCE: Couldn’t agree more!

TRUMP: Look at all of them. Just standing there. They should all be kneeling just like Kelly there. 


TRUMP: Kelly. Staring at her phone. Averting her eyes from my visage. Reverent!

PENCE: You…can’t possibly be

TRUMP: Not because they’re black. Good people the blacks. African Americans. Need to decide. Some from the Caribbean. Good offshore accounts there. Confidential!

PENCE: But still…why should they all be…

TRUMP: Me, President. Them, not President. Therefore, kneeling. Logic! 


TRUMP: JK Hanes. Dean of Science at Morehouse. He gets a pass. Has knees like a bag of wet potato chips.

PENCE: That doesn’t make any

TRUMP: President. Therefore, it makes sense. Logic!


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