3/1/2017 – 1234!

PENCE: Outstanding job last night, sir. Your speech was flawless! 

TRUMP: Decent. Did its job, but nothing to brag about. Need more ladies in white coats standing. Dressed like my kitchen staff at the Tower. Speech good but needs more oomph. Like you but with better self esteem.

PENCE: I…will take that as a complement sir.

TRUMP: You would. Just look at you. Sitting there like an abandoned vanilla milkshake. 

PENCE:  Well, I’d better get back to *ow* 


PENCE: Sorry, sir, just a little stiff from all of that standing and clapping from last night. 

TRUMP: Uggghh. You. Like an albino manatee. Ryan get in here. 

RYAN: 1! and 2! and 3! and 4! and Morning Mr. President! Mind if I knock out some burpees?

TRUMP: Sure. You. Burp. Not good. Less carbonated beverages. Gas!

RYAN: And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and Jumping Jacks! 1! 2! 3! 4!…

PENCE: What’s going on sir?

TRUMP: Him. In shape. Republican shape. You. In A shape. Not a good one. Like a middle aged pear. Me. No time to exercise. Too busy Presidentizing. Need to think. Brain Fitness!

RYAN: …and jog in place!!! 1234! 1234!

PENCE: So what does that have to-

TRUMP: You. Going to start working out with him. Need you to leap out of your seat slamming palms when I say Build a Wall. That limp fish flapping you call applause sends bad message. Low energy. Weak!

RYAN: Feel the burn!

TRUMP: You. Never say that. The DNC stopped that from happening.

PENCE: Can I…at least take some vitamins or something?

TRUMP: Steroids. Got Vince McMahon on the hotline. Right next to Putin. Brain Trust!

RYAN: And breathe.

TRUMP: Hey Speaker of the Gym. Take the White Chocolate Milk Dud here and get him started.

PENCE: I don’t think I can, sir.

TRUMP: Jesus would want it.

PENCE: Done!


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