PENCE: Mr. President, Speaker Ryan is here to pick up your new healthcare plan.
RYAN: Good morning Mr. President! Just finished my breakfast smoothie, jogged over here, can’t wait to check out the new plan!
TRUMP: Done. Ready to go. Easy!
RYAN: Awesome! I’m totally jacked to give this to congress. Jacked!
TRUMP: Here. Check it out. The best!
RYAN:
TRUMP: What?
RYAN: Sir, this is…the summary for the Affordable Care Act with the word “TRUMP’S” at the top. And at the bottom it says “Trumpbamacare. Classy!”
TRUMP: Done. Easy. Turns out healthcare’s not complicated. Can fix!
RYAN: Mr. President…maybe it’s the protein shake talking, but you can’t just take Obamacare and make it your own.
TRUMP: Didn’t. Changed it to Trumpbama care. Like Obamacare but classier. Biglier. Therefore better. Health!
RYAN: Ok, um, sir, I’m flipping through this and you basically just put the word “NO” on most of the pages.
TRUMP: Not true. Also added “Ok for rich folks”, “Needs hotter nurses”, “Gold syringes”, and “Skip the new phone”. Wasteful!
RYAN: …And you’ve added a 900 page addendum on complete coverage for hair replacement therapy. I can barely curl this!
TRUMP: The hair thing’s for other people. Totally not for me. Don’t need. Natural mane!
RYAN: Sir I can’t present this to Congress without some serious revisions.
TRUMP: Uggghhhh. FINE. Will revise. Gimme.
RYAN: Thank you sir. So let’s set a timetable to determine when the revisions can-
TRUMP: Done.
RYAN: Done?
TRUMP: Take a look. Boom.
RYAN: You…crossed out the “bama” and named it “Trumpcare”.
TRUMP: Boom.
RYAN:
TRUMP:
RYAN: Why don’t I just…take this and…make some notes.
TRUMP: Sure. Knock yourself out. Probably going to do that at your boxrobics class anyway.
RYAN: Riiight. I’ll get started on….this. Good day sir.
PENCE: Sir, I know I’ll regret asking but…why?
TRUMP: Delegation. Stress reliever. The best!
PENCE: That…almost makes sense. And that’s what’s scaring me.
TRUMP: Fear therapy. Not covered. Don’t buy a phone.
