SPICER: Wow, sir, you are getting a lot of bad press about that whole firing of Preet Bharara and the other US Attorneys.
TRUMP: Can’t have a guy working for me who’s last name sounds like he got punched in the jaw while trying to sing Christmas carols.
SPICER: …ah. Well, we need to come up with a plan to-
TRUMP: Done. Reword firing. Not a firing. Except that they were fired by me. The guy who fired them.
SPICER: So what would you call a firing other than a-
TRUMP: Procedural replacement. Boom. Done. You. Get to the podium. Fix flag on lapel. Upside down again.
SPICER: That’s amazing sir! Procedural replacement is perfect! Where did you come up with-
TRUMP: Didn’t. The press did. That’s what they called it when O’Bombs did the same thing I did. Use their own words against them. Boom. Trumpjudo!
SPICER: So if we-
TRUMP: Fix your flag pin. Upside down again.
SPICER: So if we just regurgitate the kinder words the press used for President Obama, we should be able to give a positive spin and critique the press at the same time. Brilliant!
TRUMP: Give it a try. Obama word association. Go.
TRUMP: Unorthodox management.
TRUMP: Academic aloofness.
TRUMP: Long-term visionary plagued by myopic critics.
SPICER: This is awesome! Deficit!
TRUMP: Proactive spending.
SPICER: Weak military!
TRUMP: Streamlined action-oriented strike forces.
SPICER: Evil orange troll man who won’t free me from this robotic prison!
SPICER: Sorry sir, that’s the…press talking. Not me.
TRUMP: Your flag pin is upside down again. Supposed to be a cry help. Is it?
TRUMP: No worries. Not a cry for help. A request for evolved safety status. Euphemisms!