3/15/2017 – Albanian Gladiator Fights

PENCE:  You tell him.

BANNON: I’m not going to tell him you tell him!

TRUMP: Tell me what? 

BANNON: Yoink!

PENCE: Come back here Bannon!

TRUMP: Too late. He pulled the yoink. Classic Shaggy. Should have studied up on your Scooby-Doo. Now. You. Speak. 

PENCE: Apparently Rachel Maddow got a hold of your tax forms from 2005. Well, 2 pages of it anyway, and she revealed it on the air. 

TRUMP: Ungood. What pages?

PENCE: These 2 here sir. Apparently you made $150 million that year but had to pay $36.5 million in taxes. About 24 percent of your income.

TRUMP: Good news! Shows what a great businessman I was. $150 million. Good times!

PENCE: Yes, but that’s actually a lot lower than the 35% people in your bracket were required to pay at the time. 

TRUMP: Had a $103 million loss that year. Shows I was a struggling businessman. Tough times! 

PENCE: Either way sir, it shows you were prompt and above board on paying your taxes, so it’s pretty much a win for us.


PENCE: You. I meant you sir. 

TRUMP: And why is that? 

PENCE: …*sigh* because I never win. 

TRUMP: Boom. You sure it’s just those 2 pages? 

PENCE: Yes sir. 

TRUMP: Nothing in there about China? Or Russia? 

PENCE: Nope, nothing sir. 

TRUMP: Anything about prostitutes from Singapore? Albanian gladiator fights?

PENCE: I…no. Nothing. Why would-

TRUMP: Nothing about El Chapo? Vienna? The Illuminati Accords? Bunker 9? 

PENCE: Should I be concerned about your taxes sir? 

TRUMP: Of course not. 

PENCE: Well that’s a relief! It probably-

TRUMP: The 2004 taxes sure. Massive trainwreck. But 2005 is golden. In the clear!

PENCE: I’m going to wash my hands now. For the next 3 hours. 

TRUMP: Use the antimicrobial soap. Cleanliness!


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