3/16/2017 – Islam Verde

BANNON: Mr. President, a federal judge in Hawaii has frozen your travel ban from those Muslim-majority countries. 

TRUMP: Pheh. Pointless gesture. Sure, Muslims with no cash, no goods, nothing at all can suddenly afford a plane ticket to Hawaii. If they had that money, wouldn’t be leaving. Economics!

BANNON: Be that as it may, sir, it’s the optics of the whole thing. Doesn’t look good.

TRUMP: Sure. Very brave gesture. Hawaii. That hotbed of Muslim immigration. That judge -so tremendous. So Brave. Fearless!


TRUMP: That’s sarcasm.

BANNON: I get it sir.

TRUMP: Ok. New plan: changing the ban. 

BANNON: Are you sure that’s wise sir? Cutting out more countries on the list? 

TRUMP: Cutting out? No. We’re expanding it. Here, take these countries down. They’re on the list now. 

BANNON: Ready sir. 

TRUMP: Muslimstan. Akbaristad.

BANNON: Sir? I don’t-

TRUMP: New Muslimstan. Mohammedbad. Islam Verde. Northy Arabia

BANNON: These arent-

TRUMP: Not done yet. Falafelbad. Koranistan. Al-el-al-el-al-al-ben-al. Stanistan. Detroit. Badabad. Western Allah. 

BANNON: Sir, if I may. First of all, whoa, that was really racist. Even for me. Second of all, I…don’t believe those  are real places. 

TRUMP: Add them to the travel ban list anyway. Then, two days later, we take them off the list. Makes us look like we’re easing restrictions. Did this with my hotel room prices all the time. Double the price, then 20% off. Economics!

BANNON: Brilliant, sir!

TRUMP: Keep Detroit on that list. Awful place. Like Iran but less peaceful. Will totally bring jobs back there. Cars!

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