PENCE: Mr. President, German Chancellor Angela Merkel is here to say goodbye.
IVANKA: Dad, please try to be nice to her this time.
TRUMP: Already had an amazing time with her. Tremendous. Glad she could understand my Germanian. Rosetta Stone!
PENCE: She speaks fluent Engl-
TRUMP: Angela! Buon! giorno! Me! Donald!
MERKEL: Ah. I see we are still doing this. Hello Mr. Preside-
TRUMP: Germany! Great! Ally! Just! Like! In! WW2! Helped! Fight! The! Nazis!
MERKEL: Japanese Prime Minister Abe warned me of this. *sigh* Just keep smiling Angela, we can do this.
TRUMP: You! Very! Smart! For! A! Lady!
MERKEL: I have a doctorate in quantum chemistry, but yes I will strive to impress you as a wo-
TRUMP: Seriously, Pence, she’s kind of bright for a girl but oof that body. Looks like she ate Hamburg, not just from Hamburg.
PENCE: I’ll, uh, make a note of that sir.
MERKEL: I speak fluent English and understand everything you are both-
TRUMP: Seriously, like a 3. Borderline 4 if she could fix that hair. Looks like a ginger Shemp.
MERKEL: Perhaps, Mr. President, it would be best if you just shook my hand and we parted ways.
TRUMP: Ha! You! Hand! Shaking! Can’t! Do! Only! Shake! Hands! With! Men! Or! Hot! Women! But! Not! Shaking! Hands!
IVANKA: Bitte vergib meinem Vater, gnädige Frau. Er ist unwissend, aber er versucht hart.
MERKEL: Es ist sehr ironisch, dass dieser Mann jeden Tag Nazi genannt wird, aber buchstäblich keine Ahnung hat, was Deutschland ist.h keine Ahnung hat, was Deutschland ist!
TRUMP: Wow! You! Speak! Swedish! Now! A! Solid! 4!