3/20/2017 – Ginger Shemp

PENCE: Mr. President, German Chancellor Angela Merkel is here to say goodbye.

IVANKA: Dad, please try to be nice to her this time.  

TRUMP: Already had an amazing time with her. Tremendous. Glad she could understand my Germanian. Rosetta Stone!

PENCE: She speaks fluent Engl-

TRUMP: Angela! Buon! giorno! Me! Donald!

MERKEL: Ah. I see we are still doing this. Hello Mr. Preside-

TRUMP: Germany! Great! Ally! Just! Like! In! WW2! Helped! Fight! The! Nazis!

MERKEL: Japanese Prime Minister Abe warned me of this. *sigh* Just keep smiling Angela, we can do this. 

TRUMP: You! Very! Smart! For! A! Lady!

MERKEL: I have a doctorate in quantum chemistry, but yes I will strive to impress you as a wo-

TRUMP: Seriously, Pence, she’s kind of bright for a girl but oof that body. Looks like she ate Hamburg, not just from Hamburg.

PENCE: I’ll, uh, make a note of that sir.

MERKEL: I speak fluent English and understand everything you are both-

TRUMP: Seriously, like a 3. Borderline 4 if she could fix that hair. Looks like a ginger Shemp. 

MERKEL: Perhaps, Mr. President, it would be best if you just shook my hand and we parted ways.

TRUMP: Ha! You! Hand! Shaking! Can’t! Do! Only! Shake! Hands! With! Men! Or! Hot! Women! But! Not! Shaking! Hands!

IVANKA: Bitte vergib meinem Vater, gnädige Frau. Er ist unwissend, aber er versucht hart.

MERKEL: Es ist sehr ironisch, dass dieser Mann jeden Tag Nazi genannt wird, aber buchstäblich keine Ahnung hat, was Deutschland ist.h keine Ahnung hat, was Deutschland ist!

TRUMP: Wow! You! Speak! Swedish! Now! A! Solid! 4! 

 

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