3/21/2017 – Helpapalooza

PENCE: Mr. President, FBI Director James Comey is here.

TRUMP: James. Jimmy. Jimmerino. Good morning!

COMEY: No it’s not. 

TRUMP: Not what? 

COMEY: Not good. It’s also not morning. You’re completely wrong. What you said is not true. At all. 

TRUMP: Wanted to talk to you about the Russia story.

COMEY: No you don’t. Not one inkling of truth there. 

TRUMP: Don’t what? I don’t understand.

COMEY: You don’t want to talk, Russia’s not what you want to talk about, and you completely understand. Three strikes, you’re out.

TRUMP: You. Kind of disrespectful. Me. President. 

COMEY: Nu-uh. Completely respectful. You’re a wrongypants.

TRUMP: Look. I need you to-

COMEY: NNNNOPE! Don’t need me. 

TRUMP: Listen. It totally doesn’t help that-

COMEY: Totally DOES help! It 100% helps! Helpapalooza! 





TRUMP: You’re just going to-


TRUMP: -disagree with me, aren’t you?

COMEY: Not at all. 

TRUMP: OK, I think I’ve heard enough. Have-


TRUMP: -a nice-

COMEY: -awful-

TRUMP: -day.

COMEY: -night. 

PENCE: Wow. That was awkward.

TRUMP: If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s someone who thinks he knows everything without listening to the other side of the story.




TRUMP: You’re about to explode from the irony aren’t you?

PENCE: Yes sir, I’m literally shaking with it. 

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