3/22/2017 – Majestic Head Pelt

PENCE: Mr. President, Supreme Court Nominee, Neil…*grumble*…Gorsuch is here.

TRUMP: Not his name. What did I tell you to call him.

PENCE: hrmprhmffm msdtmtrtprm

TRUMP: Louder.

PENCE: *sigh* Hair Master Neil Gorsuch.

TRUMP: Better. Send him in.

GORSUCH: Good afternoon, Mr. President. 

TRUMP: Neil.


TRUMP: So….how’s…things?

GORSUCH: Pretty good sir.  The gay marriage questions are a bit of a double-edged sword, but my dedication to orthodox constitutional interpr..um…why are you staring at me like that sir?

TRUMP: Huh? Oh, no reason. Go on. 

GORSUCH: Well, um, as I mentioned Senator Franken intended to trap me in some sort of Catch-22 but I reminded him that we have a judicial precedent that…you’re doing it again. 

TRUMP: Doing what again? You explain. 

GORSUCH: Staring at me with some sort of weird dreamy eye thing. 

TRUMP: Only do that with money. Continue. 

GORSUCH: …so we also covered aggressive interrogation, cameras in the courtroom and…*sigh*…Mr. President, are you staring at my hair again? 





TRUMP: Yes. 

GORSUCH: Dear Lord. 

TRUMP: Can’t help! Look at it! Like a garden of follicle delights. Tremendous!

PENCE: His hair’s not so great.

TRUMP: Ugggh. You. That head. Like an arctic graveyard of failure. Him. Stately. Sculpted. Like the finger of God touched his scalp and said “Let there be hair.” Miraculous! 

GORSUCH: Sir, um, again thank you for the support and the complements about my hair-

TRUMP: Majestic head pelt.

GORSUCH:  -majestic head pelt, yes, but I really need to get back to the confirmation hearings. I don’t want them to cut it short. 

TRUMP: You. Never say cut it short again. Not with those magnificent locks present.

PENCE: I’ll see Mr. Perfect here out.

TRUMP: You. Could learn a thing or two from that man. Conditioner tips. Scalp maintenance. Take notes!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s