3/23/2017 – Not a Bug

BANNON: Mr. President, FBI Director James Comey has returned.

TRUMP: Bigly. Bring him in here. 

BANNON: Right away sir. 

TRUMP: Comey. Welcome. 

COMEY: Nah ah! Totally not welcome!

TRUMP: Ok. So we’re still doing the totally disagree thing. Can respect. 

COMEY: Not ok! Can’t respect! 

TRUMP: Got it.

COMEY: No you don’t!

TRUMP: So. Comey. What’s with the bug? In my Tower? Trump Tower. In New York. Have many Trump towers but that’s THE Tower. The Trumpiest Trump Tower to ever tower a tower. The Best!

COMEY: There’s no bug. No idea what you’re talking about. 

TRUMP: It was just released that you had a wiretap in my building for 2 years. 

COMEY: Oh, THAT. That’s not a bug. That’s a strategic covert remote audio transmission and recording device.


COMEY: Sir, if there’s any bugs in your Tower it’s the ones that are there because you refused to pay the exterminators.

TRUMP: Ouch. Felt the burn. Uggghhh, now the phone’s going to-

BANNON: Phone for you sir.

TRUMP: Go ahead, Bernie. 


TRUMP: Won’t happen again. Bye. So. You. Comey-over. Why the listening thing in my tower? Proves I was right.

COMEY: Nope! Proves you were WRONG!  That was two years before you even announced your candidacy!

TRUMP: And you didn’t just happen to leave it on?

COMEY: Of course not. God, you’re like a wrong machine, just cranking out all the wrong.

TRUMP: Ok. Can respect. Can also respect you calling me God. Accurate!

COMEY: Inaccurate!

TRUMP: By the way. Here. You forgot this when you were here a couple of days ago. 

COMEY: What’s that?

TRUMP: It’s your cell phone. Somehow it just happened to be shoved in the corner. And it’s been coincidentally using a recording app for, let me see…yup. Two days. 





BANNON: Phone for you sir.

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