3/24/2017 – Trumpimatum

PENCE: Big day today sir. 

TRUMP: HUUGE. Tremendous. Beyond bigly. 

PENCE: Today the health care bi-

TRUMP: Power Rangers movie is out. 


TRUMP: Not the same without the Green Ranger. Say what you want about Jason David Frank but the man could light up a room with his spinning hook kick when he played Tommy. 

PENCE: Sir, the vote you demanded for your health care bill is happening today. This could define the early years of your Presidency and set the precedent for all our actions going forward!


PENCE: *sigh* your. Your actions. 

TRUMP: And why is that? 


TRUMP: Come on Pansypence. Like it says on the index card.

PENCE: *sigh* Because you’re the President so it’s all about you. And you get to kick all the butts because the Trump rump is the only butt that matters.

TRUMP: Trump rump. Very important. Strong glutes. Stately!

 PENCE: Sir are you sure your ultimatum was the wisest course of action? 

TRUMP: Absolutely. Shows my strength. They have to vote or else I’ll leave O’Bombs care in place.

PENCE: So…what you’re saying is if they don’t act the way you want them to act you’re going to do absolutely nothing in response. 

TRUMP: Nothing. Zero. Not a thing. El Nada on the Obama…care.  

PENCE: I…don’t think that’s how an ultimatum works. 

TRUMP: Not an ultimatum. A Trumpimatum. Like an ultimatum but with no repercussions. 

PENCE: Sir that’s kind of, pardon me, a teensy bit ineffective. Sir. 

TRUMP: Don’t like the way you’re talking to me. Better shape up or…




TRUMP: …nothing. I’ll do absolutely nothing. Not a thing. 

PENCE: I understand sir. Anything else I can do? 

TRUMP: Get Jason David Frank on the phone. If I need to kick a bill through Congress I might as well get a Ranger to do it. Or Rita Repulsa. Evil alien witch but a solid 8. Would date!

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