RYAN: About that, um, whole Affordable Healthcare Act thing.
TRUMP: Don’t want to talk about your failures. Need to get this Tax Reform bill passed.
RYAN: MY failure? Dude, I mean Mr. President, the only time I fail is after my one rep max! This was YOUR health care bill!
TRUMP: That you failed to pass. In a Republican majority Senate and House. Both of which hated Obamacare. Even though you had 7 years to come up with an alternative. I can buy you the Ferrari but you’re the one that crashed it.
RYAN: That’s not-
TRUMP: Sorry. Forgot who I’m talking to. Make that a Prius.
TRUMP: Economical car. Can go for miles but ultimately pointless ride. Like your career. Perfect fit!
RYAN: Sir that’s not exactly fair.
TRUMP: Completely fair. Have only been here a couple of months, can’t be blamed for any long-term failure. Unrelated!
RYAN: But…you had no problem taking credit for the continuing spike in the Dow.
TRUMP: Completely different.
RYAN: How so?
TRUMP: Because that’s a success story. Therefore, I’m responsible. Correlation!
RYAN: Correlation does not imply causation.
TRUMP: Like being Speaker and not getting things done? Whatever Captain Crossfit. Take your MadLibs and get out of here. You should play quarterback for the Browns.
TRUMP: Because they can’t pass anything either. Ugggghhh it’s like talking to a wall with abs.