3/27/2017 – Prius

RYAN: So. 




RYAN: About that, um, whole Affordable Healthcare Act thing. 

TRUMP: Don’t want to talk about your failures. Need to get this Tax Reform bill passed. 

RYAN: MY failure? Dude, I mean Mr. President, the only time I fail is after my one rep max! This was YOUR health care bill!

TRUMP: That you failed to pass. In a Republican majority Senate and House. Both of which hated Obamacare. Even though you had 7 years to come up with an alternative. I can buy you the Ferrari but you’re the one that crashed it.

RYAN: That’s not-

TRUMP: Sorry. Forgot who I’m talking to. Make that a Prius.


TRUMP: Economical car. Can go for miles but ultimately pointless ride. Like your career. Perfect fit!  

RYAN: Sir that’s not exactly fair. 

TRUMP: Completely fair. Have only been here a couple of months, can’t be blamed for any long-term failure. Unrelated!

RYAN: But…you had no problem taking credit for the continuing spike in the Dow.

TRUMP: Completely different. 

RYAN: How so?

TRUMP: Because that’s a success story. Therefore, I’m responsible. Correlation!

RYAN: Correlation does not imply causation. 

TRUMP: Like being Speaker and not getting things done? Whatever Captain Crossfit. Take your MadLibs and get out of here. You should play quarterback for the Browns. 




TRUMP: Because they can’t pass anything either. Ugggghhh it’s like talking to a wall with abs. 


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