3/30/2017 – Mr. Presidad

TRUMP: You. Ivanka. Going to need you to join my staff.  

IVANKA: I’d be happy to serve you and the country, Mr. Presidad. 

TRUMP: OK. Got a very important role for you. 

IVANKA: What is it? 

TRUMP: Advisor. 


TRUMP: Boom. Tremendous. 

IVANKA: ….that’s…it?

TRUMP: Of course not. Come on. Haven’t told you the best part!

IVANKA: Ok! What is it?

TRUMP: It’s unpaid!




TRUMP: Double boom. Tremendouser. 

IVANKA: So, who is that good for exactly?

TRUMP: For me. Don’t have to pay. Win!

IVANKA: Ok, first of all, Dad, I’m probably smarter than 90% of your entire incomplete cabinet. 

TRUMP: Truth. You have my brains. 

IVANKA: Godforbid-ALSO! Every time a foreign head of state comes here and you put your foot in your mouth I have to smooth things over in their native language! Do you know how long it takes me to become fluent in a new language?

TRUMP: About-

IVANKA: One day! ONE! Because as I said earlier I’m brilliant! 

TRUMP: Noticing a trend here. 

IVANKA: So with all that, give me one reason, just ONE reason, why I should work for you for free?!?

TRUMP: I’ll let you use Seal Team 6 to shoot on site anyone who makes fun of your fashion line. 

IVANKA: I’ll start on Monday. 

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