4/1/2017 – Captain Calendar

TRUMP: So I’m thinking…

PENCE: Uh oh.

TRUMP: Might be best if I work with Democrats instead. At least on health care.

BANNON: Ha! I get it!

TRUMP: Get what? You. Troll man. Speak.

BANNON: April first?

PENCE: Ah! April Fools!

TRUMP: Yes, April first is the date, Captain Calendar. Another day of you doing nothing. And Pence, the only fool in here is the one with the whitest of follicles.


TRUMP: Talking about you albino scalp.

BANNON: Wait, wait, Mr. President, you’re…serious about working with the Democrats on healthcare?

TRUMP: Always serious. Except when talking about Rosie O’Donnell. Because c’mon. Nobody can take that woman seriously. Pathetic!

PENCE: But this would be a complete reversal of-

TRUMP: When has that stopped me before? If I followed your logic every day is Trump Fool day.  





TRUMP: First one to make a joke about that is waking up in Tehran. 

BANNON: Nothing to joke about sir.

PENCE: Nope, nope, totally with you on that. 

TRUMP: Good. Now let’s talk about easing immigration standards and improving planned parenthood. If I don’t I won’t earn the respect of female voters. Because I care about women. Especially the Mexican ones. 

BANNON: Hold me Pence. 

PENCE: No, because then we’d be hugging and homosexuality is an abomination against nature. 

BANNON: Maybe it’s just a phase. 

TRUMP: Hey, Schwarzenegger’s Apprentice is on! Turn it up!


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