TRUMP: Ok. Crisis mode now. Got to concentrate. Focus!
PENCE: Sir I just heard about the terrorist attack in Russia. We should prepare a statement.
TRUMP: Poots already did that for me. Just spoke to him on my personal phone.
PENCE: So what crisis are you-
TRUMP: The Trial of the Hair Master begins today.
PENCE: The Senate Panel vote for Gorsuch?
TRUMP: -Hair Master Gorsuch-
PENCE: *sigh* Hair Master Gorsuch?
TRUMP: It’s a monumental event today.
PENCE: Of course, Mr. President. If the Democrats do filibuster in an attempt to block the vote it would be an extremely rare yet still dramatic departure from Senate standards of bipartisanship and collegiality.
TRUMP: Not that, he’s switching conditioners. Why now? What’s his angle? He’s already scalptacular. Hairfection!
PENCE: WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH HIS HAIR???!???
PENCE: Oh. Ohhhhhhhh! Right.
TRUMP: Keep me up to date. I need to know if anything changes.
PENCE: As soon as they go to vote I’ll-
PENCE: …let you know what conditioner he’s using.
TRUMP: Check on detanglers too. We need to get that to the labs. I suspect ghee and cocoa butter. Natural!
PENCE: Will do *sigh*
TRUMP: Also keep an eye on that Russia thing, whatever it was. Might be important.