4/3/2017 – Scalptacular

TRUMP: Ok. Crisis mode now. Got to concentrate. Focus!

PENCE: Sir I just heard about the terrorist attack in Russia. We should prepare a statement. 

TRUMP: Poots already did that for me. Just spoke to him on my personal phone. 

PENCE: So what crisis are you-

TRUMP: The Trial of the Hair Master begins today. 

PENCE: The Senate Panel vote for Gorsuch?

TRUMP: -Hair Master Gorsuch-

PENCE: *sigh* Hair Master Gorsuch?

TRUMP: It’s a monumental event today. 

PENCE: Of course, Mr. President. If the Democrats do filibuster in an attempt to block the vote it would be an extremely rare yet still dramatic departure from Senate standards of bipartisanship and collegiality.

TRUMP: Not that, he’s switching conditioners. Why now? What’s his angle? He’s already scalptacular. Hairfection!





PENCE: Oh. Ohhhhhhhh! Right. 

TRUMP: Keep me up to date. I need to know if anything changes. 

PENCE: As soon as they go to vote I’ll-


PENCE: …let you know what conditioner he’s using. 

TRUMP: Check on detanglers too. We need to get that to the labs. I suspect ghee and cocoa butter. Natural!

PENCE: Will do *sigh*

TRUMP: Also keep an eye on that Russia thing, whatever it was. Might be important. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s