4/6/2017 – Bad Hungry Foot Wax

PENCE: Mr. President, Chinese President Xi Jinping is here.

TRUMP: Tremendous. Been practicing all week. 

IVANKA: Oh God no.

JINPING: Mr. President. An honor to-

TRUMP: Buenos! Dias! Herr! Ping! Me! Love! Your! Cashew! Chicken! 

JINPING: Huh?

TRUMP: Why! Are! You! Squinting! At! Me! Glasses! GLASSESSSSS! 

PENCE: I’m just going to go and inform the Joint Chiefs that we’re going to DefCon 2. 

TRUMP: Lucy! Liu! Solid! 8! Would! Date! Not! Hot! Like! White! Woman! But! Still! Dateable!

JINPING: Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe warned me about this. It’s the one thing we agree on.

TRUMP: Welcome! To! Mar! A! Lago! In! Chinese! That! Means! Bad! Hungry! Foot! Wax! HA! Joke! Humor! FUNNNYYYY!

JINPING: In The People’s Republic of China golf is considered a decadent Western pasttime that is wasteful and disrespectful to the public land. 

TRUMP: Tai! Chi! Why! So! Slow! Hurry! Up! Places! To! Go! Bruce! Lee! Super! Fast! Much! Better!

IVANKA: 請原諒我的父親他是無知的,但他是一個好人.

JINPING: 它是可以接受的。你父親是我國幽默的源泉,也是我們工廠製造美國產品的重要收入來源.

TRUMP: Why! Do! Your! Names! Sound! Like! Sound! Effects! From! Batman! TV! Show! BING! POW! WAP! Probably! All! The! Kung! Fu!

IVANKA: 你有佛的耐心.

TRUMP: Please! Send! More! Of! My! American! Flag! Ties! By! Monday! Ties! TIIIIEEES!

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