PENCE: Mr. President? Sir? Where is-
BANNON: He left a note. “Off to Mar a Lago. Great place. The best. Absolutely tremendous. So good. Back on Friday. You. Winter scalp. Forgot your name. You’re in charge. Except for replacement. Have fun. Don’t bomb anything I wouldn’t. That’s not a long list. -T”
PENCE: Jesus Christ.
BANNON: No need to swear.
PENCE: I was actually talking to our Lord and Savior. We speak all the time you know.
BANNON: Oh. You’re one of those. Got it.
PENCE: How could he leave at a time like this? Syria is launching new strikes in defiance, Putin is livid, China feels emasculated and may need to flex its military muscle, ISIS is-
BANNON: So you’re saying we need him to do something.
PENCE: Dear Lord no. Just someone to take the blame.
BANNON: There’s always Spicer.
PENCE: Works for me.
BANNON: Wait, there’s another page. “Since I can’t trust either of you mental giants with the job. I’ve already called a Trump substitute. A Trumpitute.”
TRUMP: “Got Blump. Don King. Like Trump but black. Therefore Blump. Just the best. So good. Tremendous, but slightly less amazing hair. Still good. Blumptastic!”
BLUMP: BLUMP is already here!
PENCE: I can’t deal.
BLUMP: Lucky for you BLUMP’S in charge! Now get BLUMP a tax plan, two lobbyists and some gin. BLUMP is going to work off his rump, drop a health care plan with a thump, and take down some Syrian chumps, you dig?
BANNON: Got to admit, it’s hard to tell the difference.
PENCE: Actually he might be slightly better.