PENCE: I’m back from Asia, Mr. President.
TRUMP: Tremendous. I can assume you solved everything?
PENCE: Well actually I-
TRUMP: Just kidding Pence. I know how useless you are. Like a quarterback on the Browns. Only there technically. Ornamental!
PENCE: Thanks, I think.
TRUMP: By the way, you may want to call a few members of the Senate to the White House.
PENCE: Sure, how many?
TRUMP: All of them.
PENCE: Sure I wha-ALL of them?
TRUMP: Sounds about right. May want to invite the Joint Chiefs also.
PENCE: What happened?
TRUMP: So I spoke to Chinese Premiere Xi Jinping and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.
PENCE: At the same time???
TRUMP: Sure.
PENCE: With nobody else around???
TRUMP: Boom.
PENCE: What did you say? WHAT did you say? Um, sir.
TRUMP: Nice recovery there, Pence. Almost had a spine. I told them that joke.
PENCE: That….joke.
TRUMP: Can’t remember if it’s the one about them being bad drivers, or how they’re always squinting or how the women have sideways-
PENCE: This is a diplomatic catastrophe!
TRUMP:
PENCE:
TRUMP:
PENCE: It means “really bad thing.”
TRUMP: Knew that already. Oh, then I threatened heads would roll if they didn’t hand over Kim Jung…Kim Jung…
PENCE: Un.
TRUMP: Now you’re just making stuff up. I’m just going to call him Korean Moe. Definitely not a Curly or a Larry.
PENCE: This is bad. Real, real bad.
TRUMP: You. Define bad.
PENCE: Hold on let me get my President to WWE language dictionary….ok….uh huh, ok. It would be like “Triple H getting back in the ring and body slamming Linda McMahon”.
TRUMP: Wow! Not good.
PENCE: And then someone named Hulk Hogan admitting he killed the Ultimate Warrior.
TRUMP: Horrible!
PENCE: And then the Rock declaring he…can’t smell what he’s cooking, whatever that means.
TRUMP: It means catastrophe!
PENCE: I think you’ve got it?
TRUMP: It means I have some serious work to do. High energy. Go!
PENCE: Excellent sir. I’ll notify the cabinet to-
TRUMP: Step one. Call Vince McMahon.
PENCE:
TRUMP: Number 2 on my speed dial. Right after Putin at 1.
PENCE: If it’s all the same to you I’m just going to hop on a plane and head back to Asia. And maybe stay there. Apologizing. Forever.
TRUMP: Hello Vince? Donny. Listen we’ve got a Stage 2 Intercontinental Grudge Match, possibly heading to a Royal Rumble. May need Ricky the Dragon Steamboat to unretire. Diplomatic dropkick!
