4/24/2017 – Korean Moe

PENCE: I’m back from Asia, Mr. President.  

TRUMP: Tremendous. I can assume you solved everything? 

PENCE: Well actually I-

TRUMP: Just kidding Pence. I know how useless you are. Like a quarterback on the Browns. Only there technically. Ornamental! 

PENCE: Thanks, I think. 

TRUMP: By the way, you may want to call a few members of the Senate to the White House. 

PENCE: Sure, how many? 

TRUMP: All of them. 

PENCE: Sure I wha-ALL of them? 

TRUMP: Sounds about right. May want to invite the Joint Chiefs also. 

PENCE: What happened? 

TRUMP: So I spoke to Chinese Premiere Xi Jinping and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.

PENCE: At the same time???

TRUMP: Sure. 

PENCE: With nobody else around??? 

TRUMP: Boom. 

PENCE: What did you say? WHAT did you say? Um, sir. 

TRUMP: Nice recovery there, Pence. Almost had a spine. I told them that joke.

PENCE: That….joke. 

TRUMP: Can’t remember if it’s the one about them being bad drivers, or how they’re always squinting or how the women have sideways-

PENCE: This is a diplomatic catastrophe! 




PENCE: It means “really bad thing.” 

TRUMP: Knew that already. Oh, then I threatened heads would roll if they didn’t hand over Kim Jung…Kim Jung…


TRUMP: Now you’re just making stuff up. I’m just going to call him Korean Moe. Definitely not a Curly or a Larry.

PENCE: This is bad. Real, real bad.

TRUMP: You. Define bad.  

PENCE: Hold on let me get my President to WWE language dictionary….ok….uh huh, ok. It would be like “Triple H getting back in the ring and body slamming Linda McMahon”. 

TRUMP: Wow! Not good. 

PENCE: And then someone named Hulk Hogan admitting he killed the Ultimate Warrior. 

TRUMP: Horrible!

PENCE: And then the Rock declaring he…can’t smell what he’s cooking, whatever that means. 

TRUMP: It means catastrophe! 

PENCE: I think you’ve got it?

TRUMP: It means I have some serious work to do. High energy. Go!

PENCE: Excellent sir. I’ll notify the cabinet to-

TRUMP: Step one. Call Vince McMahon.


TRUMP: Number 2 on my speed dial. Right after Putin at 1.

PENCE: If it’s all the same to you I’m just going to hop on a plane and head back to Asia. And maybe stay there. Apologizing. Forever.

TRUMP: Hello Vince? Donny. Listen we’ve got a Stage 2 Intercontinental Grudge Match, possibly heading to a Royal Rumble. May need Ricky the Dragon Steamboat to unretire. Diplomatic dropkick!


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