TRUMP: I’ve been thinking.
BANNON: Oh no.
TRUMP: Wall. Not a good idea.
BANNON: …I wasn’t expecting that.
TRUMP: You. Troll man. What were you expecting?
BANNON: I don’t know, maybe something like bombing Mexico? Ha!
TRUMP: Shelve that idea. Not saying no just not right now. Innovative!
BANNON: So why are you reconsidering your Mexican border policy?
TRUMP: Not reconsidering closed border. Mexicans. Horrible people. The worst! Except the hot ones. Would date. The ugly ones can clean house. Men can garden. The best!
BANNON: I need a moment sir that was a lot of colliding thoughts to process
TRUMP: Understandable. Trump genius is beyond normal minds.
BANNON: All too true.
TRUMP: OK. Rest time over. You. Picture this. Wall. Amazing idea. The best. Tremendous. But kind of expensive. Like, maybe 3…4 trips to Mar a Lago. Wasteful!
BANNON: Are you saying you’re going to travel less to your Florida resort?
TRUMP: Listen to you. Like you know numbers. Trump math is best math. Mar a Lago trip worth any price. Like if Melania was a golf course. But with bigger hills.
BANNON: Mr. President, how are you going to protect the border but not build a wall?
TRUMP: Building a wall. Two words. Ready?
BANNON: Nothing can prepare me for this, but go ahead.
TRUMP: Mime wall.
BANNON: Yup, I was right.
BANNON: For the benefit of my sanity, can I just assume you meant mines? You know, the explosive things you bury in the ground?
TRUMP: Nope, meant mimes. French guys and liberal arts majors who think not talking and dancing around wearing all black is an art. Like sissy ninjas. Ok. Let’s talk mime wall.
BANNON: Strap in Bannon.
TRUMP: Set up mimes across the border. They’re doing that invisible wall thing with their hands. 24/7. Figure with recruitment, training, transportation, maintenance, probably looking at 80 thousand, maybe 90 thousand. Economical!
BANNON: Ok, assuming somehow you pull this off-
TRUMP: No need to assume. Guaranteed success. Trump dreams always come true.
BANNON: -and Mexico is somehow convinced there’s an…invisible mime wall spanning the complete 1,989 miles of the Mexico-US border-
TRUMP: OK maybe 95 thousand.
BANNON: How are you going to pay those mimes? Assuming some of them are volunteers, criminals on work release, and meth addicts on a rehab program, you still have to pay the salaries of thousands of mimes.
TRUMP: Of course I’m paying them.
BANNON: So that will probably increase the cost of-
TRUMP: Won’t cost a thing. Paying them in mime checks. Big invisible mime checks. Lots of money to them, costs nothing for us. Mime to Dollars conversion rate favors the US. Plus, creating jobs. Mexican border protected, new jobs created, no cost to the economy. Three birds, one stone. Trump stone. The best. So good. So good.
BANNON: Ok, that’s….80% sort of brilliant, 20% not living in reality.
TRUMP: Works for me, better than most of the policies on the Left.
BANNON: I can’t disagree with that.
TRUMP: Can we still bomb Mexico?
BANNON: Sure. As long as we use mime bombs.