5/24/2017 – Some Smell Funny

CONWAY: Letter for you. It’s from the President. 

PENCE: A letter? His Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the Almighty Son of God I didn’t know he knew how to send them. I should have asked Bannon. Why are you shaking? 

CONWAY: You mentioned the NAME. He of the enemy. 

PENCE: Who, Bannon? 

CONWAY: …sure.

PENCE: Alright let’s see what we have here.

TRUMP: You. Pence. Just awful. I should write this in whiteout so you can feel at home, but red ink will do. Red ink. So good. The best. I’m out all week. Talking to foreigners. Some smell funny but have money so they must be doing something right. Some bomb went off in England. Need to look into that, link it to O’Bombs. Bringing back a souvenir. So good. Classy. Just tremendous. Not you, obviously, the souvenir. Don’t break anything, stay out of my medicine cabinet. -T





CONWAY: You’re totally going to check out his medicine cabinet, aren’t you?

PENCE: Already did. It’s…unsettling.

CONWAY: He should use the products I use.

PENCE: Really, what’s that?



CONWAY: Great for removing makeup AND EXOSKELETONS I mean very refreshing!

PENCE: You should go. I’m going to order 43 crucifixes now.   

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