6/15/2017 – No Need to Wrap It

PENCE: The attending physician said he needs his rest, sir, so we need to cut this short. 

TRUMP: Last time I checked President outranks doctor. Unless Doctor President. Even then, Trump President beats Doctor President. Unless Doctor Trump President. Too much power!

PENCE: On that note, I’ll be outside hoping I don’t have to check myself in here one day.

TRUMP: You. Winter scalp. Out. Other You. Go. Speak. 

SCALISE: Mr. President…you didn’t have to-

TRUMP: Nonsense. You. House Majority Whip. Shot by gun toting pro-Bernie Sanders Liberal lunatic. Redundantly redundant. But had gun, so must be pro-NRA. Walking contradiction!

SCALISE: Well…I do appreciate…the gesture…

TRUMP: Same here. Let’s see it. Go.  

SCALISE: Well, I…don’t think the doctors…would allow me to…remove the bandages and…show you the wound, but-

TRUMP: Not that it. The other it. IT it. Go.

SCALISE: I don’t…think I…understand. 

TRUMP: My birthday present. Boom. 




TRUMP: I get it. Shot. No time to wrap it. Would be bad manners. Trump etiquette best etiquette! 

SCALISE: Sir he…shot me because…I knew you…

TRUMP: And he’s dead now. Trump karma best karma. Your turn. Make good Trump karma. Present. Go. 

SCALISE: One moment sir. 

TRUMP: You. That button. Why are you pressing it?

SCALISE: Ordering…painkillers. Need…many…

TRUMP: That reminds me. Answer my question. 

SCALISE: What…is it?

TRUMP: You’re the Majority Whip, right? 

SCALISE: …correct

TRUMP: So you’re into pain then right? That shooting was like a good thing for you then.

SCALISE: Not really….I’m…still alive…having this…conversation… 

TRUMP: If you were House Majority Gun, maybe you wouldn’t be in here. Legislative powerup! 

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