6/26/2017 – Trumplims

BANNON: Congratulations sir on the Supreme Court approving your travel ban!

PENCE: What a great victory for you sir!

TRUMP: Ugghh. Hate it. So bad. Just the worst. 

PENCE: I wasn’t expecting that. 

BANNON: Why are you upset about this, sir? You just beat the Supreme Court!

TRUMP: True. Just defeated the Supreme Court. Judicial beatdown. Just tremendous. 

PENCE: So why are you-

TRUMP: I tweeted I would see them in court. But I didn’t see them in court. They lost and I wasn’t there. Didn’t get a chance to gloat. Remote victory. Like phone sex with Melania. Nice in theory but boring in practice. 

PENCE: …..ew. 

BANNON: Ah. I see. You wanted to be there in person when the Supreme Court acknowledged that you had the power to enact your travel ban. 

TRUMP: Boom. Didn’t get a chance to put my foot on the throat of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg and gloat. Feels empty inside. Was going to say Justice Sotomayor but she’s from the Bronx. Would fight back with box cutter. Not Ginsberg. Coat hanger with glasses. Living liberal corpse! 

PENCE: If it makes you feel any better, Mr. President, it was only a partial approval of your travel ban.

TRUMP: You. Ghost scalp. Tell me who is still banned. 

PENCE: Ok, I have the list here. New immigrants and refugees from Iraq, Iran, Syria, Yemen, Libya, Somalia and Sudan for up to 120 days. 

TRUMP: Four months. Acceptable delay. So much can change in that short period of time. You could be long dead by then. Pale rotting corpse!


TRUMP: Hypothetically. 


BANNON: There’s actually a few other groups that have been banned, sir. 

TRUMP: Other groups. Troll man. Go. 

BANNON: The Supreme Court has also banned any Trump family members of Muslim descent. 

TRUMP: Trumplims. Small but powerful Trump family brand. Currently celebrating Trumpadan. Can’t laugh at poor people during daylight hours. Tremendous sacrifice!

BANNON: They’re also banning Conservative Muslims who support you.

TRUMP: HUUUGE group. So unfair!   

BANNON: ….sure. Oh, they’re letting liberal New York Jews in.

TRUMP: You mean all of them. 

BANNON: Pretty much. On the positive side, more for me to hate. 

PENCE: Sir, regardless of the details, you basically showed up all of those Circuit Court Justices who defied you back in February, what is the real reason you are so upset?

TRUMP: Sent a tweet I would see them in court. But didn’t see them in court. That tweet makes me look ridiculous. Like I don’t know what I’m talking about. A complete moron. Social media imbecile!  









TRUMP: Go ahead. Take the bait. I hope you like Kazakhstan.

PENCE: Hey…has anyone…seen those fidget spinners? 

BANNON: They’re everywhere! I just don’t get it! So useless and completely stupid but that’s all everybody is talking about!

PENCE: I know! They’re just so shallow and ridiculous, yet these idiots keep supporting them! You question the point of it all and yet you can’t stop staring at…







TRUMP: I repeat. Kazakhstan.  

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