PENCE: Mr. President, the South Korean President is here. 

TRUMP: Tremendous. See him in.

IVANKA: Michael, you didn’t tell dad his name did you?

PENCE: Of course not.

TRUMP: You two. Name. Go.

PENCE:

IVANKA:

TRUMP: Or I’ll call him Bruce Lee and do the slanty eyes thing and embarass you both.

PENCE: Is that possible at this point?

IVANKA: *Sigh* Go ahead Michael.

PENCE: His name is…Moon Jae-In.

TRUMP: Oh my God. So good. Bring him in.

IVANKA: Dad please don’t embarrass-

TRUMP: Not going to embarrass. Can’t. Fluent in Korean.

MOON: Good morning Mr. President. It is an honor to-

TRUMP: NI! HAO! MOON!

IVANKA: Oh dear Lord.

TRUMP: YOUR! NAME! IS! MOON! SO! TREMENDOUS!

MOON: I’ve heard of this from Shinzo Abe. He’s going to fixate on my name now, correct?

IVANKA: Yes. Sorry.

TRUMP: WHY! SO! MANY! KICKS! WITH! TAE! KWON! DO! USE! HANDS! HAAAAANDS!

IVANKA: Very sorry.

MOON: I am fine with this. I need his support against Pyongyang and the rest of North Korea. His support is invaluable.

TRUMP: EVERY! TIME! YOU! WALK! IT! IS! A! MOON! WALK! DO! YOU! KNOW! MICHAEL! JACKSON! HE! IS! DEAD! NOW! YOU! CAN! BE! KING! OF! MOON! WALK!

MOON: Although the price is apparently becoming incalculable.

TRUMP: DO! YOU! KNOW! MICHELLE! YEOH! HOT! BUT! NOT! HOT! LIKE! AMERICAN! GIRLS! SOLID! 8! WOULD! DATE!

MOON: I…believe she is from Malaysia.

TRUMP: WANT! TO! VISIT! YOUR! COUNTRY! HEARD! YOU! HAVE! MANY! HOs! THERE! WOULD! TAKE! A! HO! OUT! FOR! KIM! CHEE! OR! WHATEVER! WEIRD! ALIEN! FOOD! YOU! EAT!

MOON: 김 정 유엔에 항복 하는 것을 고려해 야 하는 것이 믿습니다. 그것은이 대화를 계속 하는 것이 좋습니다 것입니다.

IVANKA: 죄송해요. 내 아버지는 바보 하지만 그는 좋은 마음을가지고.

TRUMP: SORRY! FOR! DROPPING! BOMB! ON! YOUR! COUNTRY! IN! WW2! LOVE! YOUR! WALL! SO! CLASSY! BUT! WON’T! KEEP! OUT! THE! MONGOLS!

MOON: 단일 국가 문화에 당신의 아버지 항상 덩어리 아시아인을 합니까?

IVANKA: 그는 단일 문화에 모두를 분류합니다. 그입니다.

TRUMP: WHEN! YOU! GO! TO! BATHROOM! YOU! CAN! SAY! URANUS! IS! SURROUNDED! BY! MOON!

MOON: You are a five year old.

TRUMP: DO! YOU! KNOW! SULU? NOT! A! FAN!