BANNON: Here we go.
PENCE: Presidents Trump and Putin meeting in public. For the first time.
BANNON: Because they’ve never met before today.
PENCE: No they have not!
BANNON: Not once!
PENCE: Ok, they are walking over to each other. Slowly and formally as if they are cautious yet curious…
BANNON: Handshake with the good hand. Good nod. Friendly but not silly. So far so good.
PENCE: Oh no! Pat on the shoulder! He’s too familiar with Putin!
BANNON: I think we can say the President was just being himself and circumventing the traditional practices of diplomatic greetings due to inexperience. He’ll learn quickly.
PENCE: I think the President tried his arm pull on Putin. Mr. KGB Judo there didn’t even flinch. That’s going to be a meme. Damn it!
BANNON: Did the President wink? Jesus Christ he winked!
PENCE: We can work around that. Dirt in the eye.
BANNON: They’re sitting down…good…butts on cushions at the same time…hips descending…stay on target…great. Ok, first words of greeting. Come on, Mr. President, you can do it. As we rehearsed…
TRUMP: Hello-President-Vladimir-Putin-the-President-of-Russia-who-I-have-never- met-in-person. It-is-a-pleasure-to-meet-you-for-the-first-time-with-no-evidence-to-the-contrary.
BANNON: The Eagle has landed!
PUTIN: Hyello. Prezeedent Dawnald Trump. I too hyave never myet yoo in poorson. Eet ees also playsoore to meet yoo hyeere at Gee tventee soomit.
BANNON: Ok. We’re on a roll.
PENCE: If they just stick to the script I think we’ll be-
TRUMP: Hail Hydra.
PUTIN: Hyail Hydra.
PENCE: Normally I would cringe against being in public with someone taking the Lord’s name in vain, but God fucking damn it.