7/17/2017 – The Trump in the North

TRUMP: Watched that Game of Thrones show last night. 

PENCE: Oh I’m sure this will end well. 

BANNON: Quiet you. YES sir? What was that about Game of Thrones?

TRUMP: Gave me ideas. Big ideas. Trump ideas, therefore the best ideas. Trump ideas, so good. Tremendous. Just the best, believe me. 

PENCE: What kind of ideas sir? 

TRUMP: Ok. Invite all House Democrats to party pretending I’m Pence. Can barely stand the thought but for greater good. Necessary sacrifices!

BANNON: Then what, sir?

TRUMP: Tell the Dems I was wrong, then we all drink wine together Except their wine is poisoned. All the House Democrats die, I rip off Pence skin mask. The Trump in the North!



TRUMP: Trump is coming.

PENCE: Sir, it is an…interesting…idea…

TRUMP: Interesting in Trumpspeak means perfect. Knew you’d get it.

BANNON: But sir, there is that one – “quirk” shall we say – where poisoning the House Democrats is…and I’m speaking only in the most literal interpretation here…it IS technically mass murder.

TRUMP: Even if they’re really horrible people?

BANNON: Unfortunately sir. Murder is murder.

TRUMP: Unless you’re Hillary Clinton in which case the victim committed suicide. Boom. Trump jab. Tremendous. But seriously would love to kill them all. Options open!

BANNON: The press, er, fake news would not approve. 

TRUMP: Uggggh. FINE. Can I at least keep the Pence skin mask? 

PENCE: I may need that sir. 

TRUMP: Why, to scare loved ones? Kidding. Pence face worst face. Look at it. Like a wax candle too lazy to melt. Like a snowball put on a suit to sneak into a movie. Caucasian blandness!

BANNON: Mr. President, it might be best if you develop political strategies that are not directly linked to Game of Thro-

TRUMP: Ok. New strategy. Step one. We need three dragons.

PENCE: Dragons are fictional creatures and do not exist!

TRUMP: So are the benefits of Obamacare.


BANNON: We’re listening. 

TRUMP: Boom. Ok, step two. We need a lot of dragonglass. All we can find. 

PENCE: I think…the Clinton foundation sold it all to Russia?

TRUMP: Uggggghh! 

BANNON: Good one. 

PENCE: I have no idea what I’m saying. 

BANNON: You know nothing, Mike Pence. 

TRUMP: That’s what I always say. Pence brain. So empty. Like a shaken Etch a Sketch. Neurological vacuum! Ok new plan. How are we on direwolves? 

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