7/18/2017 – Zombiecare

PENCE: You seem perturbed sir. 




PENCE: It means very upset. 

TRUMP: Knew that. Testing you to see how…

PENCE: -perturbed-

TRUMP: Perturbed I was. Very! 

PENCE: May I ask what exactly is upsetting you, sir? 

TRUMP: Healthcare bill. Failed to pass Senate again. Makes no sense. Plan sells itself!

PENCE: How…does the healthcare plan sell itself? 

TRUMP: Keeps dying but gets back up again. Trumpcare best care. Can’t kill it. Perfect health!

PENCE: If it dies but gets up again wouldn’t that make it a zombie? 


PENCE: Zombies? You know, the living dead, brainless drones, shambling along in packs, trying to eat brains, never go away, can’t be stopped? 

TRUMP: Liberals.

PENCE: Sort of but with better hygiene. 

TRUMP: Ok. New plan. Scrap bill. Call Sessions, tell him I’ve got a fresh mouse. Get him to rename plan Zombiecare. Libs will love it. Infallible!

PENCE: I…don’t think patients will want to sign up for a plan called Zombiecare, sir. 

TRUMP: Exactly. 




TRUMP: You’re giving me that look of utter horror and admiration at the same time. 

PENCE: Am I that transparent? 

TRUMP: Completely. Doesn’t help you have no melanin. More like melanone. Used to the look whenever I undress in front of Melania. Can understand. The Trumpedo is legendary. Appendage of legend!

PENCE: ….ew. 

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