BANNON: Try again.
PENCE: Ok sir. One more time, from the top.
PENCE: Hillary Clinton.
TRUMP: Low energy.
PENCE: The White House.
PENCE: North Korea.
PENCE: Kristen Stewart.
PENCE: Charlottesville Nazis.
TRUMP: You know, there’s really many sides to this issue. Can’t jump to conclusions. Need to consider all aspects. Hear all points of view. Multifaceted!
BANNON: Jesus Christ!
PENCE: Please don’t use our Lord and Savior’s name in vain.
BANNON: Why this, though? Why does he cling to impartiality now, over this?
PENCE: Excuse me sir?
TRUMP: Jesus. Nice guy but weak. Had all that power, still couldn’t unite the world. Weak!
BANNON: I can’t believe this.
TRUMP: Believe it. Could have even used his Dad to fix things but never made the call. Jesus’ dad. Powerful guy. Not like Trump Junior’s dad but can still wield a lightning bolt. Old Testament money!
BANNON: Got a plan B, Pence?
PENCE: We…could tell him he needs to give his opinion to the press about buzzcuts…
TRUMP: Evil. Buzzcuts. Condemn completely. Shortsighted. No place in this country. Stands against everything we believe in. Follicular immorality!
PENCE: I’ll alert the media.
TRUMP: Don’t want to talk to media. Take everything I say and twist it. PR contortionism!
BANNON: Mr. President, did you hear how fat, ugly women are referring to themselves as Nazis?
TRUMP: Uggghhh. Nazis are just the worst. Hate them so much. No time for Nazis. Need to burn in Hell. Caloric blight on society! Call a presser.
BANNON: That’ll do Mr. President…that’ll do…