8/14/2017 – That’ll Do

BANNON: Try again.

PENCE: Ok sir. One more time, from the top.  

TRUMP: Shoot. 

PENCE: Hillary Clinton. 

TRUMP: Crooked. 

PENCE: Jeb! 

TRUMP: Low energy.

PENCE: Obamacare. 

TRUMP: Failure.

PENCE: The White House.

TRUMP: Dump. 

PENCE: North Korea. 

TRUMP: Maniacs. 

PENCE: Media.

TRUMP: Fake!

PENCE: Liberals. 

TRUMP: Losers.

PENCE: Kristen Stewart. 

TRUMP: Cheater. 

PENCE: Charlottesville Nazis. 

TRUMP: You know, there’s really many sides to this issue. Can’t jump to conclusions. Need to consider all aspects. Hear all points of view. Multifaceted!

BANNON: Jesus Christ!

PENCE: Please don’t use our Lord and Savior’s name in vain.

BANNON: Why this, though? Why does he cling to impartiality now, over this? 

TRUMP: Weak.

PENCE: Excuse me sir? 

TRUMP: Jesus. Nice guy but weak. Had all that power, still couldn’t unite the world. Weak! 

BANNON: I can’t believe this. 

TRUMP: Believe it. Could have even used his Dad to fix things but never made the call. Jesus’ dad. Powerful guy. Not like Trump Junior’s dad but can still wield a lightning bolt. Old Testament money!

BANNON: Got a plan B, Pence? 

PENCE: We…could tell him he needs to give his opinion to the press about buzzcuts…

TRUMP: Evil. Buzzcuts. Condemn completely. Shortsighted. No place in this country. Stands against everything we believe in. Follicular immorality!

BANNON: Jackpot.

PENCE: I’ll alert the media.

TRUMP: Don’t want to talk to media. Take everything I say and twist it. PR contortionism!

BANNON: Mr. President, did you hear how fat, ugly women are referring to themselves as Nazis?

TRUMP: Uggghhh. Nazis are just the worst. Hate them so much. No time for Nazis. Need to burn in Hell. Caloric blight on society! Call a presser.

BANNON: That’ll do Mr. President…that’ll do…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s