BANNON: Ok sir, let’s give it another shot.
PENCE: From the top.
TRUMP: My fellow Americans. I don’t like these Nazis. They’re really bad guys. Ok? They’re ungood. Don’t like!
BANNON: What did you think?
PENCE: Bland.
TRUMP: Uggghh. You would know bland. Like a giant, walking, talking, bland smoothie. Blandaccino!
BANNON: Mr. President, your last condemnation of the Nazi protesters in Charlottesville just wasn’t strong enough. The people are demanding stronger language!
TRUMP: Sure. Because that worked SO well with OBombs. Oh, you attacked my embassy? Diplomatic shunning. What’s that, a terrorist attack in a market? Expressed disappointment. Weak!
PENCE: Nevertheless, sir. In this instance a strong denunciation would help our image.
TRUMP:
PENCE:
TRUMP:
PENCE: *Sigh* You. Your image. Not mine.
TRUMP: Bingo. Nothing helps your image. Except maybe some melanin.
BANNON: Sir, the denouncement of Nazis shouldn’t be that hard.
TRUMP: Want to know where OBombs and Crooked Hillary were with all of the Black Lives Matter violence against cops, or all of the Antifa rioters?
PENCE: We know sir, but let’s tackle one group at a time. Let’s focus on Nazis.
TRUMP: Always do.
PENCE: I mean condemning them.
TRUMP: Ugggghh FINE. Don’t like those guys anyway.
BANNON: I…hesitate to ask this, but…why don’t you li-
TRUMP: Tiki torches. Tacky. It’s like they went shopping at Bigots, Bath and Beyond. Just the worst. No sense of style. Unfashionable racism!
PENCE: I…I just can’t anymore.
BANNON: Let’s go with that. It has to start somewhere.
TRUMP: And why are all those Nazis dressed like the Geek Squad staff at Best Buy? Are they marching or fixing my hard drive? Get a uniform.
PENCE: Sir, you see, there was this war that happened in-
BANNON: Don’t bother. He might get “ideas”.
PENCE: Wait a minute, I thought you were a racist. Aren’t you?
BANNON: Of course not! How dare you?
PENCE: Sorry, I didn’t mean to-
BANNON: I’m anti-Semitic. Totally different thing.
PENCE: Ah.
TRUMP: They’re sporting a good look for my golf course, though. Note to self. First condemn, then send invites to Mar a Lago. Double dipping!
