9/4/2017 – American Doers

PENCE: I have to admit, Mr. President, I’m kind of impressed with how well you are handling the whole Hurricane Harvey thing. 

TRUMP: Sure. 

PENCE: I mean the response has been swift, some pretty good photo ops, the Tweets are spot on.

TRUMP: Of course they are. Trump tweets best tweets. 

PENCE: And that picture with you kissing the little black girl was spot on! It’s actually…um…sir? 


PENCE: What are you doing there? It seems that you’re not paying attention to-

TRUMP: Were you saying something? Was just cancelling out this DACA dreamers thing. 

PENCE: So…you’re sending back a bunch of Mexican immigrants who came here as children. 

TRUMP: O’Bombs started it, so naturally it’s wrong. Have to cancel! Besides. Don’t need dreamers here. Dreamers in America? Nonsense!

PENCE: But sir…the whole American Dream concept is fundamental to-

TRUMP: Fundamental to dreaming. Waste of time. Need American Doers not American Dreamers. Active sleepers!

PENCE: So…you want people who are working when they’re sleeping.

TRUMP: Boom. Dreaming. For the weak. Trump always working. No time for REM sleep. REM sleep loser sleep. Active rest!

PENCE: This explains so much.

TRUMP: Next on list. North Korean sleeper cells in the country. Uggghhh. So lazy. Sleeping spies worst spies. Need coffee! 

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