9/18/2017 – Faygo

TRUMP: Can’t believe it. Such a betrayal. Had their back since the beginning and now this. Awful!

DeVOS: Wow. The President is on the warpath right now.

PENCE: Dear Lord and Savior no. Don’t joke about him being on the warpath. That ends with all of us glowing in the dark.

TRUMP: How could they? Thought they were classy! But no so not classy! Full 360!

DeVOS: Someone he really trusted really got him all up in a wahoo, though. Is it the Republicans?

PENCE: No, not them. They never sided with him voluntarily. 

TRUMP: After all I’ve done for them! Spineless!

DeVOS: His rich friends? 

PENCE: Come on. 

DeVOS: Oh yeah. Friends. Right. 

TRUMP: What else do they want from me? Given them all I have! Except money because Trump money best money. Only for Trump. Common sense!

DeVOS: Not his MAGA constituents? 

PENCE: Please. He could shoot a baby chimpanzee and they’d build a statue of him and prevent those antifa kids from tearing it down. 

TRUMP: Never thought I’d have to cut them out, but see no other choice. Life long partnership ended! Excommunicado! 

DeVOS: Well then who? 

PENCE: The Juggalos. They gathered in DC to protest being a called a gang. They completely outnumbered a pro-Trump rally at the same time. So they stole the spotlight from making Trump look good.

TRUMP: Was totally down with the clown, but can’t even look at Faygo anymore. Can’t respect! Et tu posse? You. Honkey head. Get me Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J on the phone! Pronto!

DeVOS: Sir, it could be worse, it could have been a pro-Trump Nazi rally marching this weekend!

TRUMP: Look. Nazis. Juggalos. Plenty of blame to go around on both sides. Here’s a Nazi side. Here’s a Juggalo side. One an insane posse of clowns. The other is Juggalos. Need to distinguish! 

PENCE: Sir, just to clarify, you hate Nazis, right? 

TRUMP: Sure. Nazis. Bad guys, the worst. But at least they didn’t make that Miracles video. Musical holocaust!

PENCE: That’s not the only atrocity happening. 

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