TRUMP: Can’t believe it. Such a betrayal. Had their back since the beginning and now this. Awful!
DeVOS: Wow. The President is on the warpath right now.
PENCE: Dear Lord and Savior no. Don’t joke about him being on the warpath. That ends with all of us glowing in the dark.
TRUMP: How could they? Thought they were classy! But no so not classy! Full 360!
DeVOS: Someone he really trusted really got him all up in a wahoo, though. Is it the Republicans?
PENCE: No, not them. They never sided with him voluntarily.
TRUMP: After all I’ve done for them! Spineless!
DeVOS: His rich friends?
PENCE: Come on.
DeVOS: Oh yeah. Friends. Right.
TRUMP: What else do they want from me? Given them all I have! Except money because Trump money best money. Only for Trump. Common sense!
DeVOS: Not his MAGA constituents?
PENCE: Please. He could shoot a baby chimpanzee and they’d build a statue of him and prevent those antifa kids from tearing it down.
TRUMP: Never thought I’d have to cut them out, but see no other choice. Life long partnership ended! Excommunicado!
DeVOS: Well then who?
PENCE: The Juggalos. They gathered in DC to protest being a called a gang. They completely outnumbered a pro-Trump rally at the same time. So they stole the spotlight from making Trump look good.
TRUMP: Was totally down with the clown, but can’t even look at Faygo anymore. Can’t respect! Et tu posse? You. Honkey head. Get me Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J on the phone! Pronto!
DeVOS: Sir, it could be worse, it could have been a pro-Trump Nazi rally marching this weekend!
TRUMP: Look. Nazis. Juggalos. Plenty of blame to go around on both sides. Here’s a Nazi side. Here’s a Juggalo side. One an insane posse of clowns. The other is Juggalos. Need to distinguish!
PENCE: Sir, just to clarify, you hate Nazis, right?
TRUMP: Sure. Nazis. Bad guys, the worst. But at least they didn’t make that Miracles video. Musical holocaust!
PENCE: That’s not the only atrocity happening.