TILLERSON: Penny for your thoughts, sir?
TRUMP: You. Such a loser. Trump thoughts worth so much more. Value priced brainwaves!
TILLERSON: A…million dollars for your thoughts, Mr. President?
TRUMP: Never worked so cheap but just this once. Thinking about sexual molestation.
TRUMP: So awful.
TILLERSON: Oh thank God. I thought you were going to say something else.
TRUMP: Famous people list. So huge. Cosby. Weinstein, Affleck. Halperin. Hoffman. Spacey. Piven. Rattner. Sheen. Seagal. Louis CK. Even more!
TILLERSON: And one of them actually tried to hide behind his homosexuality to diffuse the accusation.
TRUMP: Don’t care about Halperin. Can’t believe so many! Sheen, sure, but he’s a psycho. Like the guy. Tiger blood. Says it so it must be true. Winning!
TILLERSON: In a strange way it must feel somewhat redeeming that many of these folks are part of the Hollywood liberal elite and were vocal critics of yours.
TRUMP: Hate it. So disgusted. Awful precedent!
TILLERSON: Well I have to admit sir, I am quite impressed by your support of women’s-
TRUMP: All of them sorry. None of them bragging about it. Powerful men. Need to just grab them by the-
TILLERSON: Mr. President!!!
TRUMP: You. So awful. Never interrupt me on way to punch line again. Need Pence here. Would totally just sit there and not interrupt me. Political cuck!
TILLERSON: Well in a way I guess it’s good because at the very least it shows they’re no better than you.
TILLERSON: I mean that they were never better than you, um, sir.
TRUMP: Continue. From the index card I gave you. Go.
TRUMP: Or I could just leave you here in Asia. New North Korean ambassador!
TILLERSON: …*sigh*…because you are…the best…so good…just tremendous, believe you.
TRUMP: Nice brown nose recovery. Worthy of Pence. Cuck in training!