11/20/2017 – Charles Manson

PENCE: …and that should be everything you need to know for your Monday morning briefing Mr. President. 

TRUMP: Boom. 

PENCE: And now comes the part where it goes out the other ear. 

TRUMP: You. What were we talking about. 

PENCE: *sigh* Oh. One minor addendum sir. Charles Manson died.

TRUMP: Not minor. HUUUUUUUGE news point. So glad he’s dead. Just the worst, believe me. 

PENCE: Well I’m actually glad to hear that you-

TRUMP: If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s the leader of a white supremacist cult where an egotistical maniac convinces a bunch of people to do everything he says. 




TRUMP: What? 

PENCE: Oh, um, nothing, sir, it’s just that-

TRUMP: Manson. So awful. Have to admire the commitment though. 

PENCE: …commitment? Sir? 

 TRUMP: That swastika carved on his forehead. You can always tell who the lunatics are when they force followers to wear their beliefs on their brow. 

PENCE: Well, yes, I would have to agree with-

TRUMP: Did we get the latest shipment of Make America Great Again red hats? Need to get them out to my supporters. Tribe MAGA!




TRUMP: What?

PENCE: Oh. Um…nothing. Before I go we need your statement on Mugabe.

TRUMP: Hate it. Always too spicy. Trump hates anything that makes his stomach gurgle like-

PENCE: He’s the former dictator president of Zimbabwe, sir. 

TRUMP: Knew that. Just testing you. 

PENCE: Of course. 

TRUMP: Will tweet. So glad dictator is gone. If there’s one thing Trump can’t stand it’s an insane President who wields political power for personal gain. Inexcusable! Believe me. 




TRUMP: What? 

PENCE: Well, Mr. President, it’s just that critics might link the-

TRUMP: Makes sense. Will make sure to show difference between Mojave- 

PENCE: Mugabe

TRUMP: -and Manson. Two lunatics in charge. Different but same. Need to show the world will not stand for maniac leaders. Can’t defend!




TRUMP: What?


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