PENCE: Disastrous news Mr. President!
TRUMP: You have a twin brother?
PENCE: Worse! Flynn turned!
PENCE: He was your former National Security Advisor.
TRUMP: Knew that. Just taking a dramatic pause.
PENCE: Well, he’s not pausing. In fact, he’s acting. He just pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI about his contacts with the Russian ambassador.
TRUMP: Boom. Great news. In the clear!
PENCE: He’s admitting he lied about not contacting the ambassador when he actually did.
TRUMP: Un-boom. Not great news.
PENCE: He’s cooperating with Robert Mueller now.
PENCE: The special prosecutor who’s investigating any ties you may have had with Russia.
TRUMP: Totally untrue! No Russian ties whatsoever. Fake news!
PENCE: Well that’s a relief.
TRUMP: Hold on. Phone. You. Phone guy. Speak.
TRUMP: Poots! What’s the good word?
PUTIN: Total vorld dominashun.
TRUMP: That’s three words.
PUTIN: Eees Russian exchyange rate.
TRUMP: What do you need, Poots?
TRUMP: Whoa. Slow down comrade. Only Melania gets to see that. Personal business!
PUTIN: Nyet. The uther your-anium. The kind that makes big bombs.
TRUMP: You got it. Package in the mail. Send to your PO BOX?
PUTIN: Da. PO Box. Putin’s Office. Eees best place.
TRUMP: League of Legends tonight?
PUTIN: Vord eees bond. You gank, Putin spank. Proschay.
TRUMP: That was Putin. On my phone. My personal phone.
TRUMP: Great guy that Putin. Always demanding Uranium but man can play a good game of League. Almost Trumpian!
PENCE: Meuller is going to prosecute you!
TRUMP: Why? Have no ties with Putin. All ties. Made in China. American ties. So good. So quality. So Asian. Foreign patriotism!
PENCE: Not those kind of ties!
TRUMP: You. Too tense. Probably too much Uranium. Need to get rid of it. Putin. Great guy. Willing to take Uranium off our hands. Problem solver!