12/1/2017 – PO Box

PENCE: Disastrous news Mr. President!

TRUMP: You have a twin brother? 

PENCE: Worse! Flynn turned!

TRUMP: Flynn. 







PENCE: He was your former National Security Advisor. 

TRUMP: Knew that. Just taking a dramatic pause. 

PENCE: Well, he’s not pausing. In fact, he’s acting. He just pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI about his contacts with the Russian ambassador. 

TRUMP: Boom. Great news. In the clear!

PENCE: He’s admitting he lied about not contacting the ambassador when he actually did. 

TRUMP: Un-boom. Not great news. 

PENCE: He’s cooperating with Robert Mueller now. 




PENCE: The special prosecutor who’s investigating any ties you may have had with Russia. 

TRUMP: Totally untrue! No Russian ties whatsoever. Fake news! 

PENCE: Well that’s a relief. 

TRUMP: Hold on. Phone. You. Phone guy. Speak. 

PUTIN: Hyello. 

TRUMP: Poots! What’s the good word?

PUTIN: Total vorld dominashun. 

TRUMP: That’s three words. 

PUTIN: Eees Russian exchyange rate. 

TRUMP: What do you need, Poots? 

PUTIN: Your-anium. 

TRUMP: Whoa. Slow down comrade. Only Melania gets to see that. Personal business!

PUTIN: Nyet. The uther your-anium. The kind that makes big bombs. 

TRUMP: You got it. Package in the mail. Send to your PO BOX? 

PUTIN: Da. PO Box. Putin’s Office. Eees best place. 

TRUMP: League of Legends tonight? 

PUTIN: Vord eees bond. You gank, Putin spank. Proschay. 

TRUMP: That was Putin. On my phone. My personal phone. 


TRUMP: Great guy that Putin. Always demanding Uranium but man can play a good game of League. Almost Trumpian!

PENCE: Meuller is going to prosecute you!

TRUMP: Why? Have no ties with Putin. All ties. Made in China. American ties. So good. So quality. So Asian. Foreign patriotism!

PENCE: Not those kind of ties!

TRUMP: You. Too tense. Probably too much Uranium. Need to get rid of it. Putin. Great guy. Willing to take Uranium off our hands. Problem solver! 

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