PENCE: Happy New Year, Mr. President!

TRUMP: We’ll see about that. Every year being Trump. Happy year. So good being Trump, believe me. 

PENCE: Actually the traditional response is to wish the other person a happy new-

TRUMP: DOW up. Good. ISIS down. Good. Hillary still not President. Just the best. Taxes cut. Never paid them so don’t care, but good I guess. Twitter. Not banned. North Korea. Still useless. Iran. In riots. Melania. Still hot. 2017. Major success!

PENCE: I have to admit, sir, there are a lot of people who are surprised by your success. 

TRUMP: Don’t know how you’re going to top it. 

PENCE: How…I’m going to…

TRUMP: Granted. Pence. Mostly useless. Single function to make me look good and even more tan in comparison. But with all my success, all you have to do now is just ride everything I set up. 

PENCE: I don’t understand, sir. 

TRUMP: Not taking orders from you. Will be too busy golfing. So enjoy running the country. Congrats! 

PENCE: Mr. President, you’re still…shockingly…President. 

TRUMP:

PENCE:

TRUMP:

PENCE:

TRUMP: Unpossible. You. Arctic scalp. Explain. 

PENCE: The Presidency is not a one year job. You’re still President for the next 3 years. 

TRUMP: Three more years? 

PENCE: I’m afraid so sir. Literally, I’m afraid so. 

TRUMP:

PENCE:

TRUMP:

PENCE:

TRUMP: Shit.

PENCE: Yes sir. Shit. 

TRUMP: You. Watch your language. Fucking President here!