PENCE: Happy New Year, Mr. President!
TRUMP: We’ll see about that. Every year being Trump. Happy year. So good being Trump, believe me.
PENCE: Actually the traditional response is to wish the other person a happy new-
TRUMP: DOW up. Good. ISIS down. Good. Hillary still not President. Just the best. Taxes cut. Never paid them so don’t care, but good I guess. Twitter. Not banned. North Korea. Still useless. Iran. In riots. Melania. Still hot. 2017. Major success!
PENCE: I have to admit, sir, there are a lot of people who are surprised by your success.
TRUMP: Don’t know how you’re going to top it.
PENCE: How…I’m going to…
TRUMP: Granted. Pence. Mostly useless. Single function to make me look good and even more tan in comparison. But with all my success, all you have to do now is just ride everything I set up.
PENCE: I don’t understand, sir.
TRUMP: Not taking orders from you. Will be too busy golfing. So enjoy running the country. Congrats!
PENCE: Mr. President, you’re still…shockingly…President.
TRUMP: Unpossible. You. Arctic scalp. Explain.
PENCE: The Presidency is not a one year job. You’re still President for the next 3 years.
TRUMP: Three more years?
PENCE: I’m afraid so sir. Literally, I’m afraid so.
PENCE: Yes sir. Shit.
TRUMP: You. Watch your language. Fucking President here!