1/12/2018 – Shithole





TRUMP: What? 


TRUMP: Oh. That. Good one. Classic Trump!

PENCE: It’s not good! How could you say that? 

TRUMP: Easy. Open mouth and say-

PENCE: That’s not what I meant! How did you think that’s a great idea?

TRUMP: You. Don’t think much do you? Must have Haiti for brains. 

PENCE: I leave you alone for a few minutes, or in this case almost two weeks-

TRUMP: You. Fourth wall. Don’t break it. Sacred!

PENCE: -and next thing I know you’re dropping the “S word hole”. 

TRUMP: Swordhole?


TRUMP: Please. It’s a word. No big deal. Overblown! 

PENCE: Well House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi is on her way here and-

PELOSI: Right next to you, Pence. 


TRUMP: Ugh. You. Gah. Even your shock is girly. Untestosterone!

PELOSI: Mr. President on behalf of the American people and the Democratic Party-

TRUMP: -liberal leftist Anitfa-loving party-

PELOSI: -same thing, the people demand you apologize for your racist and despicable words!

TRUMP: Not gonna happen. Also, congratulations!

PELOSI: What are you talking about?

TRUMP: Heard you are going to Haiti on vacation. Exciting news!

PELOSI: What? No! That’s not-

TRUMP: Why won’t you go to Haiti on vacation? 

PELOSI: Because it’s a sh-





TRUMP: I’ll wait. 

PELOSI: Fuck you. 

PENCE: Language!

PELOSI: Fuck you too, Pence. 

TRUMP: Starting to like this broad. Pence hater. Instantly attractive. Wouldn’t bang, though. Standards!

PELOSI: Wow. You really see nothing wrong with what you said and how racist it is to Haitians, huh? 

TRUMP: UGGGHHHH. Ok. Follow me. Dominican Republic. Beautiful people. Love them. Women. So hot. Would date but wouldn’t marry. Not Caucasian enough. Still, people beautiful. Country beautiful. Great place!

PELOSI: I can’t believe I’m saying this but I agree with you. 

TRUMP: Haiti. Filled with Haitians. 

PELOSI: Who you obviously hate and think are shithole people. 

TRUMP: Wrong. Haitian people. Beautiful. Just as beautiful as Dominicans. Would also date but not marry. Country of Haiti is a shithole, not the people. Same island! 

PELOSI: That’s…a really stupid argument. EVERY country is a beautiful place. All countries are equal in their beauty and value regardless of their socioeconomic status in the international community!

TRUMP: Cool. Thanks for solving that other thing, by the way.

PELOSI: Solving what? 

TRUMP: The whole immigration thing. All countries are beautiful. So all those people jumping, running, swimming, digging to get here are all going to back now, right? 

PELOSI: Of course not!

TRUMP: Why? 

PELOSI: Theyre leaving to come here because those countries are sh-





TRUMP: I’ll wait. 

PELOSI: Fuck you.

PENCE: Language!

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