3/9/2018 – Trumplomacy

KIM JONG UN: Welcome back to the Most Glorious Democratic People’s Republic of Korea dear sister.

KIM YO JONG: Hey whassup.

UN: You…do not sound yourself dear sister.

YO: Yeah, um…you need to go talk to the Americans. Cut a deal.

UN: Has the decadent capitalist society corrupted your soul so quickly? Surely the devils at the Olympics have not glorified their-

YO: Sure. That’s great. Listen. I talked to this guy Shaun White. American snowboarder. Loves the weed.

UN: The herb of the devil! Have you fallen under the spell of its vile chemistry! Our father could magically whisk away the impurity from your blood, and since I share-

YO: Just shut up a second. He told me one of the great secrets of America. If our citizens discover it, there will be rioting in the streets.

UN: Surely not…the McRib? I still recall the bland rice riots of 2004.

YO: Worse.

UN: Not the…*gasp*!!!

YO: Yes! The P’ZONE! They’ve perfected the P’ZONE!


PENCE: Good news Mr. President, we just received news from the Korean Peninsula. Apparently North Korea is willing to talk.

TRUMP: Get tough policy works every time. Trump charisma. So good. So good. Just the best believe me. Trumplomacy!

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