PENCE: Mr. President, congratulations again on moving the embassy to Jerusalem.
TRUMP: Big day today. So great. World peace in Israel. Mission accomplished!
PENCE: I…wouldn’t use that exact terminology if I were-
TRUMP: Opening ceremony should be starting now. Turn on the news.
PENCE: Which station?
PENCE: Just kidding sir. Turning on FOX news now.
TRUMP: This guy. Comedian. Should put together 20 minutes on your hair.
PENCE: I’ll…start writing some jokes sir.
TRUMP: Do that after the ceremony. So once FOX finishes covering these brown people getting shot they should go over to the embassy story. Momentous occasion!
PENCE: I…think that IS the embassy story sir.
TRUMP: That’s a lot of bodies.
TRUMP: Is that supposed to be on fire?
PENCE: I’m going to go ahead and say no.
TRUMP: As long as they don’t show the…
PENCE: …crying baby.
TRUMP: So unfair. Huge tragedy.
PENCE: I agree sir. It can be a cruel world when a child-
TRUMP: So unfair they’re going to blame me for this. Total scapegoat. But a classy scapegoat. Just the best scapegoat, believe me. The most scapes!
PENCE: Well I’m certain sir that you won’t be held…uh…responsible…responsible for…
TRUMP: You can’t even finish that sentence can you?
PENCE: Sorry sir. You’re pretty much a hate magnet for everything at this point.
TRUMP: Not a problem. Just going to blame crooked Hillary. Works for everything. PR panacea!
PENCE: Surely you can’t blame her for all of the world’s ills, sir.
TRUMP: You. Kidding. Give me five minutes, can blame her for falling toast landing on the jelly side. Then blame O’Bombs for making you pay twice for the toast. Drain the swamp!
PENCE: You are a piece of work sir.
TRUMP: Piece of work making works of peace.
PENCE: That was…kind of poetic sir!
TRUMP: Throw enough brown people at bullets and I’ll have people singing kumbaya in the streets.
PENCE: And back to reality.